help me somebody please.

I'm on the verge of tears right now, but my mom seems to think it is hilarious enough to blog about, so here I am!

You know that princess I made a post about right below this one? She sure is cute, huh? That's what YOU think. She's the devil, I'm pretty sure. So, basically here's the whole event that just went down.

Now that I am in my new position at Nordstrom, I have to be in the store at 7am almost every day, which means I leave the house around 6:30am or so. Bryce, being the dedicated person he is, leaves the house about 15 minutes after I do in order to make it to the gym before work. From the time we adopted Lily until about a week ago, we would leave her in the kitchen with her bed, food, water, and toys, and keep her contained with one of those child-proof gates, you know? We noticed about a week ago that she finally learned how to jump completely over it! And we sure didn't want her little puppy self running around free while we were gone. So Bryce and I decided it was best to either get another gate to put on top of the first, or get a crate (we had a soft crate for her originally but she completely ate the zipper). We decided to get both. 

This morning was a typical morning. I get ready for work. I give Bryce a kiss goodbye. I leave.

Around 7:15, just soon after I get to work, I get a phone call from Bryce. He tells me that he has already made it to work and realized that he left Lily in the kitchen and forgot to put the second gate up. And he didn't lock her in the crate. At this point, both of us are freaking out as neither one of us can just leave work to run home! 

Ok let's be honest, mostly I'm concerned about my new Tory Burch's I left on the floor and that new handbag I just got, AND all our new furniture! We know Lily all too well now, and I'd have to say her biggest flaw is that she's a mega-chewer!

I get off work at 3pm and rush home. That's 8 whole hours that she's had to pleasure herself in destroying our cherished materials. I dreadfully climb up the stairs to our apartment, to find an excited puppy waiting behind the door. She kills me with kisses. And then.....

(I forgot to mention that I've been sick with a cold the past 3 days....) There is feathered Kleenex strewn across every square foot of our carpeted apartment. I notice something small, round, and black in the hallway. At first I assume it's a little piece of her poo....oh no, it's not. It has something metal sticking out of it. I lean over to pick it up, and it is the plug-in part of a phone charger!!!! Yes, she went into our bedroom and completely torn apart Bryce's work phone charger. I found pieces of it scattered around the house. She murdered the legs of one of our new kitchen chairs. She threw my shoes all over the living room. She threw everything we had on the couches onto the ground. She's a maniac. (Remember, I can only see these things on the ground midst piles and piles of destroyed Kleenex). 

I put her in the kitchen for 2 seconds, with only the one gate up (mistake!) while I did a quick survey of the mess. She leaps over the gate and pees all over the floor. More than I've ever seen her pee. It was a lake. I gave her the eye, she knew she was in deep trouble. Picture me running in circles across the apartment chasing her for 5 minutes. For those of you that have had the pleasure of meeting sweet Lily, you know that she runs (or hops, really) like a rabbit, and is surely faster than one. Finally I chased her into the bedroom to corner her. Out of pure spite, she created Lake Superior, AGAIN, in the bedroom.

If you haven't guessed, she's now crated up, where she belongs. She's a disaster, and even more, I'm a disaster!!! I cannot believe that a little teeny tiny puppy can do so much damage. I'm sure this will be funny in an hour. Or not.